this is something i realized this past summer.
in retrospect, it appears to me that my own mysogyny stemmed from a complete rejection of myself, an inherent part of which was (of course) being a woman. i had had a rough time with several unhealthy and abusive relationships growing up and during my teens, so to me, being female was equivalent to being a target, being a victim, and being an object of abuse. to me, it was apparent that boys were not singled out for being pretty and made to feel unsafe because of how desirable their bodies appeared. i rejected my femininity because i wanted to be told i’m smart, brave, strong, capable of handling responsibility, like my brothers were. it was a “if you can’t beat them, then join them” approach, which i now realize was just a indirect form of submission to the social bounds i so hated. in other words, i acknowledged that all of these female stereotypes were real, and subjected other women to being seen that way. since i was reinforcing that which i hated, and since i was inevitably part of the club that i was rejecting and bringing down, i was ultimately screwing myself over.it took me a really long time to accept those terrible experiences not as some inherent deformity in my character stemming from being a girl, but a culmination of selfish intentions, malicious people, warped cultural norms, and in some cases, just being at the wrong place at the wrong time.
while i no longer, claim to “think like a guy” i am still repelled by chicks who have long discussions about their hair and nails and cute outfits, or those who have their tits and ass hanging out any chance they get, and even those who identify with gender-prescriptive standards and roles (i.e. self described girly-girls.. ugh gag me). these bitches are not only stupid, they also are just enslaved to a debilitating patriarchal mentality, and reinforce all the shitty stereotypes that make it hard for girls to succeed in sciences, mathematics, and other male-dominated fields. this is just another form of passive misogyny. this is really the laziest kind because you just have to accept the shitty ideas that are passed down to you without working on your intellect or personality, and not fighting the tide of ideological contagion.
obviously this is not black and white… a vast majority of women oppose certain manifests of misogyny but not others. instead of just pointing fingers and raging about women being misogynystic it is best if we call for mindfulness and awareness of these issues. this is really the only way to get at all the subtle ways these poisonous ideas and attitudes permeate our relationships, not only with other women but with ourselves.
